Loss

As the days go slowly by, we find ourselves in situations that expend our energy beyond what we can give, yet we keep giving. We ask ourselves why and how much more is left, until someone we love hurts and needs us more than we need the energy it takes to sustain our own selfishness. You see, many days come and go without revelation, while others occur and bring with them joy insurmountable and others steal our joy and leave us wondering why these feelings are so extreme. In reference to loving our children, I am not only reminded lately of the beautiful little girl named Timye that my wife and I lost many years ago to the resounding loss of a great nephew allowed to live for 77 days. He lived to be beautiful, with fingers that stretched across his mothers’ fingers. He had eyes that were wide awake with anticipation of what this place was and how recognizable the faces he saw were. This is a story of my own witness that encompasses the loss of many. I include you in the continual heartache, whether your little one was just born or had lived to give you much joy. The loss is real and often inconsolable. I am a true believer in grief, but the kind that lasts as long as it has to. For me, I know my grief for our little Timye continues. I imagine her today as a gorgeous, 26-year-old successful young woman with raven black hair and blue eyes like her mom. She carries herself stately, with empathy that saves others from unnecessary diluted denial. She was here only a short while, but her impact left questions and applied a learned behavior in those of us that held her. That saw her beautiful face and put her night cap on. It was lovely, it was short, and the pain continues to find portals of entry that were thought to be healed and closed. For my niece, whom I love unconditionally and feel her abandoned support of self, even though there are those that love her and are there, we are meaningless when the loss is so great. They say time heals all wounds. This my friend is not true. What time does is allows us to finally accept the loss that has occurred. It has done nothing to lessen the magnitude of loss. Yes, usually life goes on as usual all around us. Sometimes we do not want to hear laughter, because we want others to share what we feel, to understand that it is real. Grief is real, long and takes the energy of endurance to a level of mega exhaustion. I say this in tribute to my great nephew Jase and my own little baby daughter Timye because they deserve recognition. They served a purpose and were great teachers of the soul. Don’t misunderstand me, many losses may not bring about the magnitude of eternal emptiness on this earth as others. It is what it is, and we can’t change that. What we can change is the way we look at loss, especially the loss of a child. Jase and Timye were supposed to be ours, they were supposed to grow and bring forth goodness abundantly. I know this because the seeds they planted in us have continued to grow and bring forth fruit of forgiveness, understanding and empathy towards those who do not understand, to those who think one can pull themselves up by their boot straps. My friend, sometimes that is impossible. I know this is sad, it is sad because it is sad. Forgive your children often, kiss them and hug them when they least expect it and support them in what seems so insignificant to us if it is bringing them joy. Often, we want to change places with innocence knowing this is impossible. Often we are sad and depressed with situations and life, but to carry life forward, their lives, we must find a way to bring them forward in us to let the best of ourselves be given to others.

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Author: coffeewithcharles58

Married for 33 years to a wonderful wife. I have 2 grown sons and a beautiful daughter n law. I love life, past and present.

2 thoughts on “Loss”

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