I watch you sleeping, as I often do. Your dark eyelashes naturally curled up and your eyelids cover the most beautiful cool water, blue eyes I have ever seen, you are beautiful. Many years ago, I met you and I instantly loved you and I love you still. You are the girl in my heart that never has to stand in the corner waiting for a dance. Young we were and much of life unknown, but we learned together. You became my best friend in May of 1984; wherever you were, I wanted to be and just five more minutes was never enough. Those five more minutes will soon be 33 years, the shortest, fastest years of my life. Together, we have made many dreams, some have become reality and others became a testament of faith, love and hope. So, in June of 1985 we married, best friends that we called Love is Us. You are the best memory my mind remembers, the one I don’t have to close my eyes and think of, for you are here, with me and all the minutes that are left. Struggles we’ve seen, adversity we’ve met and yet, Love is still Us. Your sighs are calm now as I listen to you breathe, Mr. Sandman has made his arrival for you. You have been so tired and weary. We have been honorably blessed with two sons that are our miracles. Miracles because they are two of seven little ones that we were allowed to meet, love, raise, watch grow and forever leave their marks on our hearts, as Timye did, for just a short while. Timye is our forever love, our little angel girl in heaven. The little dark-haired princess that time does not forget. There is a longing in our hearts to know her and to someday hold her again. But until then, she will remain our little angel baby, forever and always reminding us that Love is Us. Our oldest son Ken was our 5th try. Life presented us with many problems, hospitalizations and months of bedrest. After two months in bed, he came three weeks early, but was healthy in every way. We were and are so blessed to have such a bright personality in our lives. He was the blessing of all that had been lost. Everything revolved around him and his feet didn’t hit the floor until he was, well too big to carry. He walked so early and was in to everything. He was born in June of 1990. 1991 was the difficult year of Timye, her loss left a lot of displacement and heartache in each of us we didn’t understand. Ken thrived and was so smart, always interested in things beyond his years, having more adult friends than children. We should have known then that great things were in store for him. Today, he has a lovely wife named Keeley and they have careers and future dreams of their own. Several years rocked by and we were happy. Our little family was ideal and we had learned to love it that way. Until, one day I came home from work and Timberly tells me she is pregnant. That word was terrifying to us, it had not met us on even ground, it had taken so much from us, our strength, beliefs, threatening our salvation for being angry at God for what he had not rightly given us, but so easily gave to those we thought were undeserving. As the first trimester ended and little Alex began to grow, we started feeling a little less anxious all the time. Timberly would say “this has been the best pregnancy I have ever had”. Until one day she called me at work. I am a Registered Nurse and was working the 3-11 shift. Her words were shaky, and I could feel her tremble through the phone. Timberly was a high-risk pregnancy so we saw a specialist in Wichita Falls, Texas for every treatment. Her voice on the phone told me that her water had broken, she wasn’t 26 weeks pregnant. This was much to early to be anything but bad news, we were frantic. I got a replacement, quickly at work and drove home. Timberly was ready and had packed a small bag. I know I drove way to fast to the hospital, but we got there. We hadn’t been there long, and she was flown out to Harris Methodist Hospital in Fort Worth, Texas. Although her water had broken, the specialist said as long as they could stave off any infection there was a good chance with cellestone injections for lung development and Procardia (blood pressure medicine) would stop any contractions. It was amazing that she was doing so well, and the medication regime seemed to be working. On the fifth day in the hospital, I needed to get back to work because there was little income as it was. I hadn’t been home long until she called and said that an infection had set in and they were going to have to take baby Alex that evening, June 29, 1996. I jumped in the car but didn’t make it there in time for his birth. He was only gestationally 26 weeks and 3 days and weighed in at 2 lbs. 5 ounces and was 13 inches long. He was also born cesarean as was his brother. He was so little. They didn’t give us a good outcome and told us that many premature babies had life threatening illnesses. Alex was intubated and lost weight to 1 pound 15 ounces. The nurses made Timberly save any milk she might have. The naso-gastric tube was tiny, but they were able to feed him about ½ teaspoon at a time. He was a trooper, he did well. He was a miracle baby. Every day was another anticipation with little positive reinforcement from the medical team. To shorten the story. Alex survived, he lived, he is an amazing young man of 22 years old now. He stayed in the hospital 3 full months before he got to come home. He has no health problems and is the second star in our lives but shines just as bright as the first. Through adversity comes triumph. Through our boys we have a fullness in our hearts, thankful for them both. They can do no wrong. Timberly is an amazing, loving mother with love that sustains. We give many more thanks than mentioned, but the one that tops the list is; Love is Always going to be Us. You are sleeping now, you won’t know what I’ve written until you read it tomorrow. I love you sweetheart. Sweet dreams.
Copyright @coffeewithcharles.blog (Charles D. Grant)